Choosing Lottery Numbers
I'm sure I can't be the only person who has stood behind someone and waited far too long for them to fill in their lottery play slips. It happened to me last Saturday morning, and the lady in question wasn't taking ages because she was elderly (she wasn't) or had dozens of Lotto lines to play (she did three in the end), but because of something much more irritating.
She stood there, with her little blue lottery pen in hand, then stepped back and looked at the ceiling. I thought she was going to sneeze for a second, so I simply waited patiently for it to happen. But it didn't - she simply continued looking at the ceiling. After about a minute I followed her gaze and saw nothing out of the ordinary, so I cleared my throat to try and hurry her along a bit. When I did, she turned and smiled, then said, "Sorry, I'm waiting for inspiration. I only need three more numbers."
There are 49 possible numbers in the UK Lotto, and we have to pick six of these. We have two main lottery draws a week - one on Saturday and one on Wednesday. This gives us no less than five non-lottery days in which to think about the numbers we might want to enter. Yet amazingly, some people don't do any of that thinking until the very moment they need to write their numbers down. You might be forgiven for expecting them to just close their eyes and select one at random (after all, that's not a million miles away from how the actual lottery numbers will be picked). But no - the person in front is always one of those superstitious people who has to try and tune into the voice of fate or fortune.
The lady in front of me spent another minute waiting for inspiration, then psychically sensed my growing frustration (or heard me muttering under my breath) and angrily marked the rest of her numbers in a hurry and gave me a dirty look as she took her play slip to the lottery terminal. I was obviously relieved, but in the hope that I can reduce future waiting times I would now like to provide the world with a handful of numbers people can use if they find themselves put on the spot by an impatient player like myself:
National Insurance Numbers - If you don't know yours, memorise it soon. It might even come in handy for non-lottery purposes at some point.
Latest Bank Balance - If you can't remember the pennies, just do the pounds.
Sexual Encounters - The number of times you've been jiggy in the past week. If the answer is none, use the number of times you would have liked to have been jiggy in an ideal world.
Work Phone Number - At last, here's an additional role for that bit of information you only ever use when you want to throw a sickie.
If you still can't find enough numbers for your lottery play slips and there's an increasingly frustrated chap standing behind you, please do us all a favour and pick the rest of your numbers at random. If you don't, you'll end up counting the number of expletives that an otherwise perfectly polite Lotteryman can produce when the need arises.
Article Last Updated: 31/07/2007 14:59:08
